Second Assignment
The assignment I chose, out of Gwen’s list, was to write a 500 word story that begins with ‘Alice tried to remember who had given her the key.’ It’s a tad over 500… forgive me! It is below. Enjoy!
Alice tried to remember who had given her the key. She knew when she had received it. It had been a Tuesday, because under a rocky, gray sky she had been on her way to Steiny’s to eat a creamy bagel sandwich. The same sprout-laden, cream cheese covered delight was still offered only on Tuesdays, and she still went as often as possible. In New York, having a good deli with a friendly young buck behind the counter ready to whip up a specialty you’ve waited for all week was almost like having a family. You just went every week without exception, even if it was the busiest time of day on a Tuesday.
The afternoon she’d been handed the key, which she now wore every day around her neck, the traffic had been busier than usual. She was pushing through the streets, worrying before she’d even left the office that she would be late returning.
“Hella hella, Purple yella!” a brown, weathered man sang over the twang of his guitar. His foot tapped against a black felt hat on the ground before him. “Don’t you want a fella, sugar?” She slowed for a moment to listen, dropping a dollar in his hat and giving him a smile, but moved along quickly. She was determined to get her lunch and flirt with her deli boy a little, in as unhurried a way as possible. His smile was warm and thick behind the glass counter; his eyes were golden brown. She found herself humming the man’s tune while deli boy’s tan face filled her mind. Her steps were light on the pavement. She was having a little daydream when the Cadillac roared around the corner, just as her leg extended into the street.
She and two other people were hit, but she bounced the farthest. She didn’t lose consciousness immediately, and so was able to experience the weightlessness of being tossed through the air. The feeling of hitting the pavement, though painless, was vivid; she felt like a rug might, being beat against something to free the dirt.
As she lay twisted in the road watching the clouds shift through the sky, a face appeared in her field of vision. It was the singing man, and for a moment his wrinkled, dirty face was beautiful and comforting. “You look all right,” he said, laughing. He looked to the right. “She might need a little help next time, eh? Maybe something to keep her safe?” She looked away from him and saw he was speaking to a squat, small-eyed man, equally dirty. He nodded.
When she woke in the ambulance, by then feeling the pain from her splintered shin, the key was in her hand. Etched into one smooth side was the word ‘Safety’ in loopy script. “Watcha got there?” said the EMS man, checking the blood pressure monitor.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “A key, I guess.”
“Hmmm… For what? You were holding onto it pretty tight. I’ve never seen anyone bounce off the pavement like that and still have something in their hand,” he said, adjusting a knob on the monitor.
“I don’t know. I think an angel gave it to me,” she said. He raised his eyebrows and wrote something into a notepad.
“Well, you’d better hold onto it then. Might be important,” he said. She closed her eyes and drifted off, trying to capture the faces of the men who’d hovered over her in the street.
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:35 am
She and two other people were hit, but she bounced the farthest.
Really like that line a lot. The whole piece resonates like this. Very nice. Not quite Twilight Zone, but definitely very Late Afternoon Zone. Fun and observant. Reads well.
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I completely agree with Jon - delightful read! I love the whimsy found in what might have been a tragic or frightening moment.
December 6th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Dear Lord, what a twist. I think there is something about an accident that jars me, even when it is only described in print. One’s life can be completely altered, in so many ways, by one unpredictable moment and action.
We go through life….chuga,chuga, chuga…and then BANG. Now the moment has turned and we are no longer who we are. Life altering events.
I remember my mother had a heart attack on my birthday. I think I was twenty one. Thereafter, it was no longer my birthday, but for my mother, the anniversary of her heart attack.
December 30th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Having actually been hit (and nearly killed) by a car, I have to say I didn’t find this at all realistic. The actual experience of flying through the air is not nearly as romantic as described here. I do find it personally ironic that I’ve just this month had my eighth surgery related to that accident. Being reminded of it still sickens me. Thanks a lot, Aubreii.
December 31st, 2008 at 9:30 am
So, the magical key was realistic though?
December 31st, 2008 at 11:00 am
I only wish I was this good at writing magical realism! The creativity and sense of folklore is wonderful. And as usual the language is lovely. I was joking- and it came off as insensitive. I blame the pain killers.
September 4th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Useful stuff, but the theme don’t display properly on my Powerbook…maybe you ought to verify that out. Thanks, anyway.
September 4th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
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